A great forgiveness tool

So often I hear about for­give­ness and just tune right out– ya, ya, for­give­ness– I’ve already done that.  And then recently I had an event pop up that was basi­cally a rela­tion­ship falling away that was not a match and I knew it.  It had been a long time com­ing as we were on very dif­fer­ent vibra­tional lev­els.  So, when it hap­pened I was not at all sur­prised, but the way it hap­pened, did catch me off guard.  And even though I was feel­ing com­pletely OK with the rela­tion­ship mov­ing on, I was mad about the actual inci­dent that was the trig­ger.  I just couldn’t BELIEVE this per­son would do this in this way!  For days, my mind just kept com­ing back and stew­ing on this event and I was shocked by the amount of rage that sur­faced over these days.

Luck­ily for me, I have some great friends all with great arse­nals in their pocket for han­dling sit­u­a­tions like these!  So, my one friend told me about doing basi­cally, “Sur­ro­gate, Gestalt EFT.”  I know, huh???  So, it’s basi­cally doing EFT as if I were the per­son.  So I started out with list­ing all my judg­ments of this per­son and then I began tap­ping on myself as that per­son– whom I will call Stephanie.   So I started out on karate chop point with, “My name is Stephanie and even though I’m a total bas­ket case, I deeply and com­pletely love, accept and for­give myself any­way.”  Just after that first tap­ping on karate chop point I felt a gigan­tic ener­getic shift!  By stat­ing her name and mov­ing into her shoes and real­iz­ing that some­one who can so eas­ily hurt some­one with their incon­sid­er­a­tion also needs to find a way to love her­self, had me instantly feel­ing com­pas­sion for her.  And of course real­iz­ing that lov­ing her­self is the biggest chal­lenge of her life and is exactly why she is so care­less with other people’s feel­ings.  Already in that moment I was wish­ing her well and hop­ing that some­day she would find a way to be happy and love her­self.  The tables shifted in a moment from me want­ing to pun­ish her for what she did to me, to sup­port­ing her ener­get­i­cally to find heal­ing within herself.

Now, that sounds very nice and lofty and it is actu­ally true– I really did feel that!  But that doesn’t mean that the ugly revenge mon­ster did not come back to haunt me in the mid­dle of the night again.  Yup, he came back.  So I tapped again.  And con­tinue to tap as long as it keeps resur­fac­ing.  Tap, tap, tap!  And each time a new layer is released and progress is made.  Not every­thing dis­ap­pears instantly, forever.

I am so grate­ful for EFT for giv­ing me such a prac­ti­cal, sim­ple and easy tool to han­dle so many sit­u­a­tions.  And so many friends to help me stay on course in a sit­u­a­tion like this.  Not one of them wanted to get into the drama of the story and take sides and help me jus­tify my point of view.  All of them gen­tly reminded me that all the upset was my own to heal and had noth­ing to do with the other per­son.  She was just there to trig­ger what was inside myself that needed healing.

Do you have friends like this?  That hold you up to your high­est self and poten­tial?  Or do you still wal­low in the drama together?  We all have our moments of back­slid­ing and I have def­i­nitely had mine dur­ing this time– not so proud moments of thoughts of hatred and revenge.  And again, EFT is such a great tool to move through those emo­tions with­out stuff­ing them in and sup­press­ing them.  The point  is not to pre­tend that I’m above those thoughts– they were present and real and needed to be released — so I tapped a lot for myself as well, “Even though I’m hav­ing these feel­ings of hatred and revenge and desire to pun­ish, I deeply and com­pletely, love, accept and for­give myself any­way.”  and then tap­ping through the points, ‘This feel­ing of hate, this feel­ing of want­ing to harm and cause pain, this feel­ing of right­eous­ness, this feel­ing of supe­ri­or­ity, this feel­ing of desire to pun­ish…”  I tapped through it all!  Being will­ing to be hon­est with our­selves and our own emo­tions is really the key to heal­ing.  Oth­er­wise all that hatred, and all that stuff remains locked in the cells of our own bod­ies.  Yuck!  Our hearts become more and more closed over the years and we get sicker and more resis­tant, more cyn­i­cal, meaner and less happy.  That’s way to big of a price for me to pre­tend that I’m too spir­i­tual to have those emo­tions any­more and pre­tend that they don’t exist.  I’m acknowl­edg­ing them for the sake of releas­ing them, not for the sake of act­ing upon them.  And boy does it feel good to let that stuff go and let it out!

For basic instruc­tions on how to do EFT if you are new to it go here to view one of my favorite EFT coaches, Mar­garet Lynch.

Tags: EFT, emotional freedom technique, energy healing, margaret lynch, mind body spirit, tapping

Category: Law of Attraction, Relationships