Having Fun with our Shadows

So often when we begin our jour­ney on the path of liv­ing con­sciously, it involves a lot of ‘work on our­selves.’  Sud­denly we’re faced with all of our chal­lenges, imper­fec­tions and ‘issues.’  It can be very free­ing to let go of what is not work­ing for us in our lives and let go of debil­i­tat­ing pat­terns and at the same time, can start to really bog us down and feel really hard.

Lately, I’ve been going through Mar­garet Lynch’s 7 Lev­els of Pros­per­ity with a few friends and we’ve really started to embrace our shad­ows.  In her pro­gram it’s mostly about the money shad­ows, but it is clear to see how these shad­ows are present in all areas of our lives.

One really fun way we’ve had of play­ing with these aspects of our lives — that we’ve been so keen on hid­ing and try­ing to cover up for so long — is through art­work.  As I was work­ing with my sis­ter, she real­ized that the most repul­sive per­son in the art world to her is Andy Warhol.  She loves impres­sion­ist art, was an Eng­lish major in col­lege and prefers French Coun­try home decor.  To her, he sym­bol­izes every­thing tran­sient, pop-culture-ish, quick fame with an in-your-face atti­tude.  The most appalling art she could think of would be the clus­ter of four pic­tures of her­self done in an Andy Warhol style.  It took her a while to embrace it but she finally decided to have this iconic ego-intense imag­ine of her­self done and is going to hang it in her laun­dry closet– just for her.

She knows what it sym­bol­izes– tran­sient, quick to change mind, want­ing to be the cen­ter of atten­tion, self­ish, in your face, ME! ME! ME! atti­tude, out of con­trol ego and being in love with her­self– all ele­ments she’s embrac­ing these days– rather than run­ning from.  That’s all part of her.  It’s not all of who she is, but it is part of her whole and time to embrace it.

 

Another friend’s shadow revolves around being a spoiled brat.  As an only child who was pretty good at every­thing she’s ever been involved in, this stigma from child­hood still comes to haunt her.  She’s devel­oped a sort of ‘no style’ approach to her home decor and wardrobe over the years to com­pen­sate for this part of her­self, rather than claim­ing it.  She also has a pretty active ‘Peo­ple Pleaser’ going on in her shadow as well.  So on a recent perusal of Urban Out­fit­ters wall decor, she was both offended and thrilled by this poster.  As a mother of two young chil­dren, clearly this would not be appro­pri­ate for her liv­ing space so she thought how fun it would be to put this in her walk-in closet– some­thing she saw every morn­ing while get­ting ready and mak­ing that be her cri­te­ria for what was allowed into the closet.  Noth­ing less than F-ing Fan­tas­tic would be good enough for her or her closet.  It’s as if the poster would take on an alter-ego and be in charge of her wardrobe as well as her home decor.  It sym­bol­izes being spoiled, self­ish, bratty, bitchy, stuck-up, too good for every­one else and over-involved with self.  So many women can relate to this.  Pretty much every woman I know has ‘self­ish’ in her shadow because we tend to be so focused on our chil­dren, spouses and oth­ers’ needs and it feels so wrong to own that aspect of our­selves, that is in fact selfish.

So, what about you?  What art would mor­tify you or the peo­ple in your life?  What would shock those around you that know you best and why?  What is one piece of art you can indulge in just for the fun of pleas­ing your shadow side?  I chal­lenge you to peruse some art sites and find some­thing you would con­sider a guilty plea­sure and bring it into form some­how in your life.  Even if it is just wall­pa­per on your com­puter — just find a way to embrace this aspect of your­self.  I promise this will put a smile on your face while at the same time clear­ing out block­ages that have been hold­ing you back.  It’s time to really let all of you express the full­ness of who you are!

Category: Relationships