For those of us on the metaphysical path that have given up victimhood, we know that the only way that statement can ever be true is if we end it with, “I’m upset because… I’ve chosen to disconnect from my own well-being in this moment.”  Our upset is always a choice we make and never the fault of anyone outside of ourselves.  This of course is both the good and the bad news of the situation.  And even though I feel like these teachings have gone quite mainstream over the past decade or so, it is still surprising to me to hear how many people are still choosing to play the role of the victim in their own lives.   And, I am still surprised by my own reactions to certain people in my own life.  I swear, it really feels like certain people bug the crap out of me!  Instead of… certain people activate the parts of me I can’t stand about myself.  I feel so fine when I am alone that it really does feel like they are the problem and not me.  But alas, deep down I know the issue is mine and mine alone and luckily for me I have some very good friends who let me get away with nothing!  They call me on all my projections and help me to see the parts of myself I really want to ban.

What about you?  Do you surround yourself with friends that let you get away with your limitations or call you out on them?

At the end of the night the owners began to dance, and encouraged all of the guests to join them.  Most of the people in the room were shocked to see a couple of the men as they danced with reckless abandon in the middle of the room.

Slowly more joined in but it took quite a bit of encouragement for this to happen, many of them were literally dragged onto the floor by the others.

I watched with pure delight as the family and friends began letting all their inhibitions go as they were expressing themselves with the music. I watched the children’s’ faces as they watched their parents let loose.  They were elated to be able to jump around freely and to play with their parents in this way. 

It made me wonder once again why it is that so many cultures in this modern day have become so still and inhibited.  This kind of joy and expression is something so vital to our being.

One of my favorite memories as a child was when my father or grandfather would play the piano and my sisters and I were free to dance around the room with costumes and props in any way we liked until the music stopped.

As you know dancing is a passion of mine, but even if you are not a dancer I believe our bodies were made to move and express and enjoy! 

I think it is time we all got out of our cars, off of our couches, off of the computer, and out of our minds and let loose a little with our family and friends.  Communicating and expressing with your body is one of the best natural highs there is.

I went to McDonald’s regularly growing up — either while on tours with my sports team (ironic, eh?) or when I would sometimes have fast food three times a day in high school (no, my mom didn’t realize or I’m sure she would have said something.)  There are times that it seems as if I’m living inside my own personal edition of “Super Size Me”.  Yes, I know, REALLY bad plan. (If you haven’t see the film, download it for free here. It’s well worth the watch.)

Part of my fast food addiction has been to soda (or pop, if you’re from one of the “pop” parts of the world.)  Especially to McDonald’s Diet Coke.  I don’t know how or why it’s different, but… It’s. The. Best.

So, fellow MM Angelina, horrified at what I continue to put into my body, sent me this article: “Are Diet Sodas Making You Fat?”.  I’ve conveniently ignored all of the warnings about how bad artificial sweetner is for my body, but start talking about weight gain?  Now you’ve got my attention.  (Hey, points for honesty here, right?) 

If you’re like me, I highly recommend that you read it.  If you’re like Angelina - with a friend like me - I encourage you to send this article to that person that you care about the same way that she did — no preaching, just the info.

After the amazing stats about how much fatter we diet soda-drinkers are (with all other things being equal) came a suggestion that really made me perk up: EFT for soda addiction.  Now, it’s not a surprise that I could use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique, or “tapping”) to clear my draw toward fast food and soda, I just hadn’t  put it on my mental front-burner. 

So here’s my commitment to you — I’m going to use EFT to CLEAR my fast food and soda addiction and get back to you.  I’m tempted to not post this until I’ve done it so that I can share the results in the same post, but I know that the fast food/soda-loving part of me would find a way to conveniently “forget” to follow through.  (Not pretty, but I’m just keepin’ it real.)

Until next time, when I’ll be back with results…

MM Heather

Lately, I’ve been going through Margaret Lynch’s 7 Levels of Prosperity with a few friends and we’ve really started to embrace our shadows.  In her program it’s mostly about the money shadows, but it is clear to see how these shadows are present in all areas of our lives.

One really fun way we’ve had of playing with these aspects of our lives — that we’ve been so keen on hiding and trying to cover up for so long — is through artwork.  As I was working with my sister, she realized that the most repulsive person in the art world to her is Andy Warhol.  She loves impressionist art, was an English major in college and prefers French Country home decor.  To her, he symbolizes everything transient, pop-culture-ish, quick fame with an in-your-face attitude.  The most appalling art she could think of would be the cluster of four pictures of herself done in an Andy Warhol style.  It took her a while to embrace it but she finally decided to have this iconic ego-intense imagine of herself done and is going to hang it in her laundry closet– just for her.

She knows what it symbolizes– transient, quick to change mind, wanting to be the center of attention, selfish, in your face, ME! ME! ME! attitude, out of control ego and being in love with herself– all elements she’s embracing these days– rather than running from.  That’s all part of her.  It’s not all of who she is, but it is part of her whole and time to embrace it.

Another friend’s shadow revolves around being a spoiled brat.  As an only child who was pretty good at everything she’s ever been involved in, this stigma from childhood still comes to haunt her.  She’s developed a sort of ‘no style’ approach to her home decor and wardrobe over the years to compensate for this part of herself, rather than claiming it.  She also has a pretty active ‘People Pleaser’ going on in her shadow as well.  So on a recent perusal of Urban Outfitters wall decor, she was both offended and thrilled by this poster.  As a mother of two young children, clearly this would not be appropriate for her living space so she thought how fun it would be to put this in her walk-in closet– something she saw every morning while getting ready and making that be her criteria for what was allowed into the closet.  Nothing less than F-ing Fantastic would be good enough for her or her closet.  It’s as if the poster would take on an alter-ego and be in charge of her wardrobe as well as her home decor.  It symbolizes being spoiled, selfish, bratty, bitchy, stuck-up, too good for everyone else and over-involved with self.  So many women can relate to this.  Pretty much every woman I know has ‘selfish’ in her shadow because we tend to be so focused on our children, spouses and others’ needs and it feels so wrong to own that aspect of ourselves, that is in fact selfish.

So, what about you?  What art would mortify you or the people in your life?  What would shock those around you that know you best and why?  What is one piece of art you can indulge in just for the fun of pleasing your shadow side?  I challenge you to peruse some art sites and find something you would consider a guilty pleasure and bring it into form somehow in your life.  Even if it is just wallpaper on your computer — just find a way to embrace this aspect of yourself.  I promise this will put a smile on your face while at the same time clearing out blockages that have been holding you back.  It’s time to really let all of you express the fullness of who you are!

A few thoughts from Tolle’s book and my brain…

“This book’s main purpose is not to add new information or beliefs to your mind or to try to convince you of anything, but to bring about a shift in consciousness, that is to say, to awaken.” — Page 6

I really love this as a way to open a book.  I’ve gone into overwhelm in self-help sections of bookstores, surrounded by SO MANY BOOKS and SO MANY THOUGHTS.  When I bring myself back to Center I remind myself that they are all just variations on the one Truth, written in as many flavors and styles as there are authors trying to express that which can never truly be sufficiently expressed.

“You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you, and allowing that goodness to emerge. But it can only emerge if something fundamental changes in your state of consciousness.” — Page 13

As a recovering perfectionist, this resonates deeply.  I love the shift from goodness in action to goodness in being.  Yes, I know that it’s still a focus on goodness, but one step at a time, right??

“No ego can last for long without the need for more. Therefore, wanting keeps the ego alive much more than having. The ego wants to want more than it wants to have. And so the shallow satisfaction of having is always replaced by more wanting.” — Page 46

Wow — this was a great a-ha for me!  I find myself triggered into irritation when my kids get something, then immediately want something else. My irritation and judgment is a red flag that this is something within me that I’m in judgment of.  I love bringing this particular pattern to my awareness so that I can bring extra loving and compassion to that part of myself that wants, wants, wants - understanding that that is just what the ego does — and forgive the judgements that I’ve held against myself for wanting more.

“Wanting is structural, so no amount of content can provide lasting fulfillment as long as that mental structure remains in place.” — Page 47

See above and apply more self-forgiveness!

“Nonreaction to the ego in others is one of the most effective ways not only of going beyond ego in yourself but also of dissolving the collective human ego. But you can only be in a state of nonreaction if you can recognize someone’s behavior as coming from the ego, as being an expression of the collective human dysfunction. When you realize it’s not personal, there is no longer a compulsion to react as if it were.” — Page 62

I know this, I know this, I know this — but man, it’s a good one to be reminded of!! 

 “There is the dream, and there is the dreamer of the dream. The dream is a short-lived play of forms. It is the world – relatively real but not absolutely real. Then there is the dreamer, the absolute reality in which the forms come and go. The dreamer is not the person. The person is part of the dream. The dreamer is the substratum in which the dream appears, that which makes the dream possible. It is the absolute behind the relative, the timeless behind time, the consciousness in and behind form. The dreamer is consciousness itself – who you are.” — Page 209

Namaste, beautiful dreamers.

MM Heather

That’s when it hit me! I am a sucker for analogies and this one seemed particularly apropos. I am just in the middle of a move to a new house and am spending a good portion of my day fixated on remodeling. The house is a foreclosure in need of some love. Once I said the words, ‘Taking down our walls, ’ I had it! We are in the demo phase of our remodel. The two of us were on the phone sort of lamenting over the fact that we did not ‘get it’ sooner. Once we had our big, ‘ah ha moment’ we expected everything from that moment on to be perfect. It was like installing and polishing a chandelier right in the middle of demo! That doesn’t make any sense! No wonder we were so insecure and unstable. First comes demo, then clean up, then the rebuilding, then the furniture moves in and after that the finishing touches and the sparkle. It’s like we were wanting to style the room and add accessories in the midst of tear down.

Once we saw it from this perspective we both took a big huge, exhale! There is no need to rush the process and move straight into perfection when we just realized what the problem is and are in the place of removing the problem. How about you? Do you find yourself wanting to accessorize when demo has just started? I am reminded once again, that personal growth — just like remodeling a house– is a process, not an event.

Have you ever wondered where the line is between interrupting your child’s creation process or being sucked into their creational vortex? I have. I’d like to share this cute video with you that came about as a result of me being sucked into my child’s vortex and becoming a player in her manifestation.

Since discovering the law of attraction I have been astounded at the things I have watched my daughter attract to her life. Every once in a while I have found myself swept up into her unwavering beliefs and found myself participating in the manifestation of those beliefs. Such is the story of the Mermaid. Many of you have already read the full story in our ” The Law of Attraction for Kids” Ebook, so here I will give the shortened version.

It all began years ago on a trip to Borders with my daughter and niece. I let them pick out a book. They picked a mermaid book. A few weeks later they informed me that they were going to see a mermaid when we made our next trip to kauai. I laughed a little and said, “Oh really”. I thought it was very sweet. The next week I was thinking about how cute the girls’ mermaid belief was, and what do you know … my head started exploding with ideas about how I could help to create the siting of this mermaid.

I got to work, although I wouldn’t really call it work. I even got a couple of others to join in. We were having the time of our lives helping to create something so fun and magical. Within a couple of weeks the girls’ Belief became a reality and when we all looked upon the mermaid even I had to catch my breath!

Throughout this mermaid experience I was swept away into the magical fantasy of my daughter’s belief. There were some big differences with this experience compared to others from my mothering years. This is what let me know that I was joining in her creation.

First of all, it was something I had never even thought of, before i heard the kids talking about it. Second, it was so fun I could hardly contain myself! I couldn’t sleep at night I was so excited! Third, things came together in ways I could have never imagined, with the Universe delivering countless details to the experience that i had never even considered!

Joining in your child’s beliefs is a magical feeling and I hope that all of you are enjoying cocreating moments like this with your children. I hope to have many more with my daughter, no matter what the subject be. It is so much fun!

Today the manifestion of the Mermaid lives on as we joyously bring it to other children who believe.

As she was sharing this process with me, she kept saying, “I can ask people to vote for me, but then it’s all in God’s hands.” And I agree! Since everything is. And yet I also completely disagree…

I asked her if she had created any sort of affirmations or vision boards or anything of the like to help her see and feel herself NOW as the winner. She’s done an incredible amount of work over this last year to get to the place of even being nominated for this award, so I know that she really, really wants to win this thing. “No,” she said. “I know that I really want it, and I’m the most determined person that I know, but now it’s just all in God’s hands.”

I’ve been rolling her words around in my head, and watching my thoughts that spin off it. When is it best to ask for something and then let it go? When is it best to affirm and visualize every day? If we go with “it’s all in God’s hands”, is that wisdom, or a way to shirk our duties as co-creators?

I find myself wanting to pounce on her, armed with info about conscious creating. It’s probably only the fact that she’s a new acquaintance, rather than a friend, that has stopped me from doing so! After all, I’d just be helping, right?

As I look deeper, I realized that yes, I’m motivated by wanting to help, but also by my thoughts of lack and fear. Is it REALLY enough to ask for what I want, and then leave it in God’s hands? Don’t I have to “pay” for the outcome by worrying or affirming or making a lovely mind movie? Don’t I have to struggle for, or at least work for, what I want?

I use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique, or “tapping”) quite a bit these days. Much of what I’ve been tapping on lately centers around easily, gracefully welcoming my desires into the physical level of my life. Or as Abraham-Hicks might say, receiving the things that are in my vibrational escrow (I love that phrase). Maybe that’s my balance-point right now — keeping doing the inner work needed to get my irrational beliefs out of the way, then trust in this amazing God of ours to know what’s for my, and our, Highest Good.

What about you, dear readers? How does this show up in your life?

Namaste,
MM Heather

Let’s take a look at this from a metaphysical perspective. Personally, as a mother of these two girls, I absolutely love that they go back and try the different route once they’ve hit a dead end. It is exactly as I would like them to live their lives. I love it when they stay focused and move forward as long as everything is working out but once they hit a dead end, to go back and try something different. I see virtually no value whatsoever in going to the end and then saying, “Oh, I lost. Guess I’ll start a brand new game,” before they’ve gone back and tried something different first. First they exhaust all their options and try out different avenues to make it work. Once they’ve exhausted their possibilities, then they start over. But as I said previously, more times than not, they end up finishing the game, rather than ‘losing’ and having to start over.

Now, let’s look at the lessons my family member’s children get to learn. First, they must play by someone elses’ rules. Secondly, if they’ve made a bad decision they have to live with it no matter what. It’s not okay to go back and choose again. And third, they better get used to losing because that’s the reality of life.

Which game would you rather play? My girls have made up their own rules to most of the games they own and it is often tricky to play with others who play by the written rules because they’re always telling them that those are NOT the rules! I always giggle when I hear this and think, “Darn straight!” I am so glad they decided early in life to not play by someone else’s rules. They still play a fair game. Both girls adhere to the same set of rules– it’s not like the rules are flexible serving only their own interest, but those rules were made by them to suit their own personal desires. Just like each of us do in our own lives, whether consciously or unconsciously.

So, what are your thoughts? Whose rules are you playing by and is changing the rules cheating?